pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
