On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
