you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
