Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
