lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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