its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
