I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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