Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
