Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
