i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
