I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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