The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
