Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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