just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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