You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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