WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
