I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
