Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
