Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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