she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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