I just saw a hot homeless man
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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