he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
