I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
