Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
