I cockslap morals
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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