He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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