Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
