She said her name was "party"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
