It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
