forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
