i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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