Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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