Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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