Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
