He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
