saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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