We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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