you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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