i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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