I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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