my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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