I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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