I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize