Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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