You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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