I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize