im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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