College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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