She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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