their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
