Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
