i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
