I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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