no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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