So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have fence marks all over my body
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize