whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
