ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
