If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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