JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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