tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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