i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
